We’ve all been through it, driving calmly down the highway with out music on, minding our business until one of those bad drivers strike.  Yep, the one who makes even the calmest of the calm lose his temper and begin spouting off profanity-laced questions through the windshield.

“What the **** are you doing?”, “Get the **** up the road” or “Ever heard of a ******* turn signal?”  One bad driver has suddenly turned you into a raving maniac.  As a commuter to work every weekday, I live it and I get it, and here are my top seven complaints.  If you are one of these drivers, then this is intended for you and you need to hear it, whether you like it or not.

Complaint #1

That arm to the left of your steering wheel is called a turn signal and it is there for a reason.  Use it!  Stop darting over in my lane, in front of me, thereby forcing me and all of the cars behind me to slam on our brakes, simply because you’re too lazy to simply move the arm upward or downward.  It takes only second and you are not that occupied that you can’t do it.  And while I’m on that subject, please also don’t wait until you’re already in the process of changing lanes and cutting me off before bothering to turn it on.  What is the point at that juncture?  I’m sure that there is some type of instruction somewhere on the proper use of turn signals if you need refreshed on the subject, but kindly stop endangering the lives and safety of other drivers on the road because of your laziness.

Complaint #2

Please, for the love of God, stop texting on your phone while sharing the road with me.  There is a reason that many states have laws against this.  IT IS DANGEROUS!  You and I both know that you’re not that important that you need to respond right that second, and how can you possibly be seeing me in front of you or in the lane beside you if you’re looking down at your phone instead of ahead on the road?  I know some talented people and even they can’t pull that off, so stop endangering the lives and safety of yourself and others by doing that.  If you’re that worried about your phone, then try out the feature that your iphone offers to assist with that.  I’m not really against talking on the phone since you’re likely still watching the road while you converse, but texting while driving is just stupid and, well, no one really wants to be known as the stupid person who totaled his car because he couldn’t do two things at once, right?

Complaint #3

Since we just discussed the foolishness of texting, I might as well also address that putting on your makeup in the car also applies to this particular rule.  Are you running that late that you actually need to put on your makeup in the mirror while you are trying to drive?  I’ve seen plenty of you doing it and well, it’s troubling.  Can’t you get up even five or ten minutes earlier to do this at home rather than endangering my life and safety in traffic that is moving well above 65 miles per hour?  I mean, I can put my makeup on in like five minutes!  Stop trying to steer with your knee while you’re applying mascara on the highway.  You already look fine.

Complaint #4

Now that we have those out of the way, let’s discuss the left lane.  This particular lane is also known as the passing lane.  It is not for you to cruise in, like you’re on a Sunday sight-seeing trip, at 50 miles per hour, thereby holding up the traffic behind you while inflicting road rage behavior.  You know better than this.  I can’t get around you when you are driving the exact same speed as the person in the right lane next to you.  Either speed up a tiny bit to get around him or slow down and get behind him but STAY OUT OF THE LEFT LANE!  Got it?  This is not the sunday cruising lane and it is not meant to be used for that.

Complaint #5

While I’m on the subject of the left lane, I need to shout out to those of you who are trying to utilize it with your RVs and trailers.  If your vehicle or what you’re towing can barely reach a speed of 50 miles per hour, STAY OUT OF THE LEFT LANE!  That specific lane is not for you.  You are not in a car that is capable of passing so please remove yourself from the passing lane and return to the right lane, where you belong.  You may not like or even agree with that rule, but that is the decision you made when you chose that particular vehicle.

Complaint #6

Truckers, it is your turn.  Now, I totally appreciate what you do and recognize that you are the reason that we get our food and other goods delivered in a timely manner.  You are the backbone of our country’s commerce and I get that, BUT… some interstates have actually created a lane (all the way to the left) with signs that very specifically state “NO TRUCKS” and, yet, some of you are still over there.  I’m not sure if you can’t read or just don’t care but kindly move your rig back to the proper lane because YOU DON’T BELONG THERE!  You have at least two other lanes that you can travel in.  That particular lane is not for you and you don’t own the road, even if you think you do.  There are rules for you, too, so please abide by them.

Complaint #7

Rules also apply to those of us entering the interstate from the on ramp, which some of you seem to have forgotten.  It is not your right to just fly onto the interstate in whatever manner you choose.  If there is traffic in both lanes then, like it or not, YOU MUST YIELD!  I don’t care how much of a hurry you’re in.  Yielding is the law, people.  See, when you fly onto the interstate, automatically expecting that semi truck to magically move out of your way, into a lane that isn’t available due to another vehicle being there, you are thereby forcing that truck driver to swerve over abruptly in front of me.  That causes me and everyone behind me to have to slam on our brakes, almost causing a multi-car pileup, all because of you!  I’m sorry, but you are not that special that it is worth my life, safety or the damage caused to the car that I work so hard to pay for so stop it!

There is certainly more that I could discuss about the proper way to drive on the highway, or any road for that matter, but these are my top seven.  If you’re offended right now, one or more of these likely applies to you but, again, you need to hear it.  It is simply my own opinion and no one else has contributed to it, but it is also my blog and my right to express it.  Be safe out there!